Thursday, December 16, 2010
Everyone wants a shot at the title.
As the NFL season is winding down and the playoffs picture is coming into focus, Fantasy Football playoffs are coming to an end. For many this realization is mind numbing as the reflect on the poor draft choices they made AHEM*D.WILLIAMS, MOSS, R.GRANT*AHEM But there is always next year and these sweet commercial to sway you into drafting certain players.
FYI, steer clear of Bulger and Maroney.
On the opposite spectrum exists those basking the glory as their teams advance to the final four.
FAVRES DICK PIC 6'S (me) VS. CROMARTIES 9TH KID (matty)
Last week, 9th kid barely escaped by the skin of his teeth as he beat Ian by less than 2 points. Ian was in perfect position to win, but we will blame Anquan Boldin for this. In a conversation with I had with Bob we came to the conclusion...
"HE (matty) WAS WHO IAN THOUGHT HE WAS...AND HE LET HIM OFF THE HOOK."
For me this is a game of revenge. Last year matt beat me in the championship in an epic showdown and his team was the clear favorite. But this year is different. Not only is his name unoriginal, but he sports a tom brady wearing a turban avatar. Im bitter about this and Jets fans can say all they want but fact of the matter is...youre team houses cheaters like your strength coach, under achieving players, and a fat glutinous coach.
I just puked in my mouth while trying to post this video.
anyways...here is the type of ass whooping im going to put on the 9th kid.
Straight up beastin the 9th kid and his ill equipped team.
NUNES FORESKIN (Talbot Talks) VS. JAY TOUCHY FEELY (eric)
Talbot talks is looking to regain his supremacy in the league and another shot at the title (wants to rematch me, still bitter that he lost to me) which is fine...but he better come prepared.. Idk if he is ready to deal with the athletic beasts that are on my team. Erics team is nothing special...hes getting lucky...as a matter of fact, I just checked his team and hes not even starting a TE right now.. Im not surprised.. Bob should win this match-up and have another shot at the title.
This is a pretty accurate conversation that Bob and I had about this..the actors couldnt have done it any better.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Remember the old days?
Remember the old days when the Hartford Whalers were a NHL team? There are several responses I would expect from this question.
A. No
B. Yes
C. I don't watch or follow hockey
D. I have no clue what you're talking about.
For those of you who don't know I'll provide some background then dive into the topic.
The Whalers were founded in 1971 and actually played in Boston (part of the WHL). Later they were moved to Hartford in 1974. They then joined the NHL in 1979. To keep this short and sweet, the whalers sucked. They had 3 winning seasons in 18 years, missed the playoffs 10 times and had only one playoff series win..Later earning them the nickname "Forever .500s"
The last game played by the Whalers was in 1997, where they were then moved to Carolina and became a good franchise.
"Brass Bonanza" Hartford Whalers Theme song. --Didnt know they had one
Im gonna pass the torch here to a friend...I actually took the time to interview someone for this blog...
1.) Why do you think people are now starting to wear Whalers apparel?
There are many things that come to mind when I read this questions. I first wonder why some people are certain fans of any teams. You have the rare fan in me who supports both the New York Mets and the San Francisco 49ers, and every time I am asked why, I responded with some means of humors as to defelct my shame for their own going lack of performance. What lets me sleep at night though is that fact that they are a sports team, and I will actually get to either see their games in person, watch them LIVE on TV, or catch highlights on ESPN. What “Whalers fan” (notice the quotes) can do any of that….NONE. The Whalers are a thing of the past, and like any relics of a poor decision their memories should be buried deep down. I understand if you were actually alive and went to Whalers games, but why would you waste your money and purchase new apparel. Is it to wear to the game, no what game could that possible be unless your watching NESN classic. The most obvious and depressing conclusion that any “Whalers fan” should come to is that whenever they see new team apparel they should think, WOW where were this groupies before the Whalers go kicked out of Connecticut. So I say congratulations to the people who buy new apparel, and in doing so mock the fact the team was forced to relocate due to a low fan base. If your looking for acceptance from a large majority you might as well buy a Justin beiber t-shirt and you’ll be welcomed with open arms with people who have similar problems of idolizing a joke.
2.) What do you have against those who wear Hartford Whalers hats and such?
Where are they going to wear this hat, certainly not at a game, so what is the point…To look like you know what’s good by supporting something that couldn’t even hold a fan base. Once again if you wear a new Whalers hat, ask yourself why and the list will be short I can guarantee that. Probably just as short as the list of accomplishments you’ve had in your life. I have an idea, why not take that money you are about to spend on a new Whalers hat, and instead just throw it into the Connecticut river or give it to a bum on Asylum Street near your precious XL Center where the only good thing that has been going on there is the UConn’s women domination and annihilation of unworthy opponents.
3.) Should these pseudo fans root for the Carolina Hurricanes? (The Whalers were relocated to Carolina for those who didnt know.)
These pseudo fans should do everyone a favor and stop laughing in the face of professional hockey. It’s a joke that more and more people who cannot even name a former Whaler or two wear these hats. I am surprised that “authentic Whalers fans” are not as disturbed as I am.
4.) I recently saw a poll reading
What is your favorite NHL team:
A. Bruins
B. Devils
C. Whalers
D. Rangers
E. Other
What are your thoughts about this poll?
This poll seems rather interesting, and I would be curious to how the students at UConn felt. Then upon a second glance I realized something about this pool. That aside from option E (which is where option C should be fall under) all the teams listed actually still exist (once again option C seems to be the outlier). The question is “What is your favorite NHL Team?” Wake up, the Whalers are not a NHL team. I feel no need to further drive this point home as the poll merely adds to my conclusion that CT is a state filled with pseudo fans looking for some form of acceptance.
5.) Fill in the blank. Every time I see someone wearing a Whalers hat, I want to.
Rub my eyes, take three deep breaths, and remind myself that there are those less fortunate and do not have all the synapses firing.
6.) Short paragraph where you can add in anything else you would like to say about Whalers fans.
Your support is about as worthless as Willy Wonka himself making being a keynote speaker at a diabetes convention. Just like the Whalers, Willy Wonka should be given credit for his great products, but honestly you don’t need to go out there and buy those 5 lb chocolate bars for the holidays. Its unreasonable and overkill, and the same can be said of all these “whaler fans” coming out of the wood work now.
I Agree with my friend here on every point that he made. However, Ill add in some more points.. Many of these people wearing these hats *coughLITTLEKIDScough* probably dont even know who or what the Whalers were. So its a cool hat to them thats fine I guess. But for those who are old enough and understand or like hockey..you need to move on and find a new team..You sporting a Whalers hat is like holding onto the picture of your Ex-gf from over 10 years ago. Its just not healthy!!! Perhaps you should sport a real team like the badass mamma-jammin BRUINS!!!!
Also, I just found this...I did a little research and came across this. Hartford Whalers Booster Club? Upon actually going to the site and doing a little eye exercise/ reading...I found there are 456 actual Whalers fans remaining..I think...thats what the site says..You poor souls.
Acknowledgments: Jo. "HoodRat" Za.
A. No
B. Yes
C. I don't watch or follow hockey
D. I have no clue what you're talking about.
For those of you who don't know I'll provide some background then dive into the topic.
The Whalers were founded in 1971 and actually played in Boston (part of the WHL). Later they were moved to Hartford in 1974. They then joined the NHL in 1979. To keep this short and sweet, the whalers sucked. They had 3 winning seasons in 18 years, missed the playoffs 10 times and had only one playoff series win..Later earning them the nickname "Forever .500s"
The last game played by the Whalers was in 1997, where they were then moved to Carolina and became a good franchise.
"Brass Bonanza" Hartford Whalers Theme song. --Didnt know they had one
Im gonna pass the torch here to a friend...I actually took the time to interview someone for this blog...
1.) Why do you think people are now starting to wear Whalers apparel?
There are many things that come to mind when I read this questions. I first wonder why some people are certain fans of any teams. You have the rare fan in me who supports both the New York Mets and the San Francisco 49ers, and every time I am asked why, I responded with some means of humors as to defelct my shame for their own going lack of performance. What lets me sleep at night though is that fact that they are a sports team, and I will actually get to either see their games in person, watch them LIVE on TV, or catch highlights on ESPN. What “Whalers fan” (notice the quotes) can do any of that….NONE. The Whalers are a thing of the past, and like any relics of a poor decision their memories should be buried deep down. I understand if you were actually alive and went to Whalers games, but why would you waste your money and purchase new apparel. Is it to wear to the game, no what game could that possible be unless your watching NESN classic. The most obvious and depressing conclusion that any “Whalers fan” should come to is that whenever they see new team apparel they should think, WOW where were this groupies before the Whalers go kicked out of Connecticut. So I say congratulations to the people who buy new apparel, and in doing so mock the fact the team was forced to relocate due to a low fan base. If your looking for acceptance from a large majority you might as well buy a Justin beiber t-shirt and you’ll be welcomed with open arms with people who have similar problems of idolizing a joke.
2.) What do you have against those who wear Hartford Whalers hats and such?
Where are they going to wear this hat, certainly not at a game, so what is the point…To look like you know what’s good by supporting something that couldn’t even hold a fan base. Once again if you wear a new Whalers hat, ask yourself why and the list will be short I can guarantee that. Probably just as short as the list of accomplishments you’ve had in your life. I have an idea, why not take that money you are about to spend on a new Whalers hat, and instead just throw it into the Connecticut river or give it to a bum on Asylum Street near your precious XL Center where the only good thing that has been going on there is the UConn’s women domination and annihilation of unworthy opponents.
3.) Should these pseudo fans root for the Carolina Hurricanes? (The Whalers were relocated to Carolina for those who didnt know.)
These pseudo fans should do everyone a favor and stop laughing in the face of professional hockey. It’s a joke that more and more people who cannot even name a former Whaler or two wear these hats. I am surprised that “authentic Whalers fans” are not as disturbed as I am.
4.) I recently saw a poll reading
What is your favorite NHL team:
A. Bruins
B. Devils
C. Whalers
D. Rangers
E. Other
What are your thoughts about this poll?
This poll seems rather interesting, and I would be curious to how the students at UConn felt. Then upon a second glance I realized something about this pool. That aside from option E (which is where option C should be fall under) all the teams listed actually still exist (once again option C seems to be the outlier). The question is “What is your favorite NHL Team?” Wake up, the Whalers are not a NHL team. I feel no need to further drive this point home as the poll merely adds to my conclusion that CT is a state filled with pseudo fans looking for some form of acceptance.
5.) Fill in the blank. Every time I see someone wearing a Whalers hat, I want to
Rub my eyes, take three deep breaths, and remind myself that there are those less fortunate and do not have all the synapses firing.
6.) Short paragraph where you can add in anything else you would like to say about Whalers fans.
Your support is about as worthless as Willy Wonka himself making being a keynote speaker at a diabetes convention. Just like the Whalers, Willy Wonka should be given credit for his great products, but honestly you don’t need to go out there and buy those 5 lb chocolate bars for the holidays. Its unreasonable and overkill, and the same can be said of all these “whaler fans” coming out of the wood work now.
 |
| Hat rack at Lids |
Sunday, November 28, 2010
35 bad jokes that I actually use.
These are in no particular order...just a short list of 35 shitty jokes of mine.
1.) Why do cows have bells?
-Because their horns are broke.
2.) If a woman with big boobs works at hooters, where does a woman with one leg work?
- I Hop
3.) How did the burger king impregnate the dairy queen?
- He forgot to wrap his whopper.
4.) What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
-Nothing, they just waved.
5.) What do you call a cow with no legs?
-Ground beef
6. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- No idea(r)
7.) How did the war General get his tank into his house?
- It was a fish tank.
8.) A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey."
-The horse says "Sure."
9.) How do you get holy water?
-Boil the hell out of it.
10.) Why was the blonde's belly button bruised?
- Apparently blonde guys are that dumb too.
11.) What do prisoners use to call each other?
-Cell phones.
12.) What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
-Nacho Cheese.
13.) What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
-A nervous wreck.
14.) Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
-Because they have big fingers.
15.) Why is 6 afraid of 7?
-Because 7- 8(ate)-9.
16.) Why do midgets giggle while they run?
- Because the grass tickles their nuts.
17.) Why wouldn't the lobster share his toys?
-Because he was shellfish
18.) What kind of dinosaur runs down the street destroying everything in its path?
- Tyranosaurus Rex!
19.) Hear about the two peanuts that walked through central park?
-One was a-salted.
20.) Why did the dolphin kill himself?
-He had no porpoise in his life!
21.) What do you call a bee that produces milk?
-Boobee
22.) What did one cow say to the other cow?
-Do you want to see a moooooooooovie?
23.) Why do bananas wear suntan lotion?
-So they won't peel.
24.) What do you call a fake noodle?
- An impasta!
25.) Two muffins are in an oven and the first muffin goes, "wow, it's hot in here." The other goes, "AH! A talking muffin!"
26.) What do chromosomes wear?
- Genes
27.) What kind of pants does mario wear?
- denim-denim-denim
-Got this one from my brother.
28.) What do you call and empty can of cheese whiz?
-Cheese whuz.
29.) What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
-A dic-tater.
30.) Where would you learn how to make ice cream?
-At Sundae school.
31.)What is 6 inches long, has a big head, and drives women wild?
-A hundred dollar bill!
32.)What do you give injured lemons?
-Lemonade!
33.)Why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel?
-She was trying to blow her horn.
34.) What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal when they were eating a clown?
-Does this taste funny to you?
35.) What did Shakespeare say while he was shopping for toilet paper?
-2-Ply or not 2-Ply? That is the question.
1.) Why do cows have bells?
-Because their horns are broke.
2.) If a woman with big boobs works at hooters, where does a woman with one leg work?
- I Hop
3.) How did the burger king impregnate the dairy queen?
- He forgot to wrap his whopper.
4.) What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
-Nothing, they just waved.
5.) What do you call a cow with no legs?
-Ground beef
6. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- No idea(r)
7.) How did the war General get his tank into his house?
- It was a fish tank.
8.) A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey."
-The horse says "Sure."
9.) How do you get holy water?
-Boil the hell out of it.
10.) Why was the blonde's belly button bruised?
- Apparently blonde guys are that dumb too.
11.) What do prisoners use to call each other?
-Cell phones.
12.) What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
-Nacho Cheese.
13.) What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
-A nervous wreck.
14.) Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
-Because they have big fingers.
15.) Why is 6 afraid of 7?
-Because 7- 8(ate)-9.
16.) Why do midgets giggle while they run?
- Because the grass tickles their nuts.
17.) Why wouldn't the lobster share his toys?
-Because he was shellfish
18.) What kind of dinosaur runs down the street destroying everything in its path?
- Tyranosaurus Rex!
19.) Hear about the two peanuts that walked through central park?
-One was a-salted.
20.) Why did the dolphin kill himself?
-He had no porpoise in his life!
21.) What do you call a bee that produces milk?
-Boobee
22.) What did one cow say to the other cow?
-Do you want to see a moooooooooovie?
23.) Why do bananas wear suntan lotion?
-So they won't peel.
24.) What do you call a fake noodle?
- An impasta!
25.) Two muffins are in an oven and the first muffin goes, "wow, it's hot in here." The other goes, "AH! A talking muffin!"
26.) What do chromosomes wear?
- Genes
27.) What kind of pants does mario wear?
- denim-denim-denim
-Got this one from my brother.
28.) What do you call and empty can of cheese whiz?
-Cheese whuz.
29.) What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
-A dic-tater.
30.) Where would you learn how to make ice cream?
-At Sundae school.
31.)What is 6 inches long, has a big head, and drives women wild?
-A hundred dollar bill!
32.)What do you give injured lemons?
-Lemonade!
33.)Why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel?
-She was trying to blow her horn.
34.) What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal when they were eating a clown?
-Does this taste funny to you?
35.) What did Shakespeare say while he was shopping for toilet paper?
-2-Ply or not 2-Ply? That is the question.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
The good and the bad of George Bush's presidency
George Bush may not have been the smartest president, the most eloquent president, or even the most popular..But damn did he try to please the public!
We need more presidents like him. Think outside the box and prepare for the impossible. "Zombie attack?"...BOOM!! (onomatopia in a blog..who would have thought), "we got 50 Billion dollars set aside! No problem. Aliens are invading..dont worry, I got that covered too..here is your aluminum helmet so they cant read your mind.. A giant tsunami is coming?...Who the fuck do you think I am.. Moses?"
Im not even sure Bush is aware who Moses is or what he did...but who cares.
- On a side note i heard this clip on Howard Stern with George Bush and some chick..and he was talking about how he liked to drink and read a lot of history while he was in office..I gotta find that. If anyone has it, plz send it to me.
While we are on the topic of zombies I think it is worth noting that zombies like turtles
Lastly, a question of the zombie fanatics...If they are actually dead, how can they move..They should be stiff from postmortem. And why do they need to eat anything..They are dead. Lastly, if they are dead..how do they make noises?? They dont have a need to breathe or respire..
Perhaps we need to redefine what a zombie is... Something like "A living, walking, groaning, brain eating - dead organism.
We need more presidents like him. Think outside the box and prepare for the impossible. "Zombie attack?"...BOOM!! (onomatopia in a blog..who would have thought), "we got 50 Billion dollars set aside! No problem. Aliens are invading..dont worry, I got that covered too..here is your aluminum helmet so they cant read your mind.. A giant tsunami is coming?...Who the fuck do you think I am.. Moses?"
Im not even sure Bush is aware who Moses is or what he did...but who cares.
- On a side note i heard this clip on Howard Stern with George Bush and some chick..and he was talking about how he liked to drink and read a lot of history while he was in office..I gotta find that. If anyone has it, plz send it to me.
While we are on the topic of zombies I think it is worth noting that zombies like turtles
Lastly, a question of the zombie fanatics...If they are actually dead, how can they move..They should be stiff from postmortem. And why do they need to eat anything..They are dead. Lastly, if they are dead..how do they make noises?? They dont have a need to breathe or respire..
Perhaps we need to redefine what a zombie is... Something like "A living, walking, groaning, brain eating - dead organism.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Men are pathetic
Before you start yelling about me because of the implications of the title, let me explain. The title is a gross generalization, but you will understand soon enough who I am calling out because it is most likely not you.
MFC is a webcam-site that ushers in the new frontier of porn by offering a live feed of different models to its viewers. Despite this being labeled as a XXX or X-Rated site, the models are free to do whatever they wish in their respective rooms whether it be just to chat with anyone who comes into the room to performing sexual acts. What they do is completely up to them.
Onto the onslaught: I was gonna actually elaborate more at this time..but just watch the video.
I find it DISTURBING that there actually exists people so narrow minded or stupid as the male figure depicted in the video. YES PEOPLE LIKE HIM ACTUALLY EXIST. I find it hard to believe too. I often wonder if the lesbian rate is climbing because of guy like this. It would be a good hypothesis to test.
My biggest quarrel with this video and the truth behind it is that there is a price on the female body. X number of tokens (which translates into money through the site) is worth some sort of act. I like that in the video the woman, because she received a "tip" does not feel compelled to fulfill the guys request for a "flash"
There is so much to be said about this video...But I wanna hear what you guys think. Leave some comments and I will answer them.
MFC is a webcam-site that ushers in the new frontier of porn by offering a live feed of different models to its viewers. Despite this being labeled as a XXX or X-Rated site, the models are free to do whatever they wish in their respective rooms whether it be just to chat with anyone who comes into the room to performing sexual acts. What they do is completely up to them.
Onto the onslaught: I was gonna actually elaborate more at this time..but just watch the video.
I find it DISTURBING that there actually exists people so narrow minded or stupid as the male figure depicted in the video. YES PEOPLE LIKE HIM ACTUALLY EXIST. I find it hard to believe too. I often wonder if the lesbian rate is climbing because of guy like this. It would be a good hypothesis to test.
My biggest quarrel with this video and the truth behind it is that there is a price on the female body. X number of tokens (which translates into money through the site) is worth some sort of act. I like that in the video the woman, because she received a "tip" does not feel compelled to fulfill the guys request for a "flash"
There is so much to be said about this video...But I wanna hear what you guys think. Leave some comments and I will answer them.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Potential Hate Crime?
This guy thought he would be cute and try and pull a fast one on his opponent..unfortunately his opponent pulled the trigger and knock his ass out! I hope the juice was worth the squeeze.
For the record, that guy isn't gay.
For the record, that guy isn't gay.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Best Dance Evah.
And this guys offspring...well not really but they sure look alike
In my opinion the little runt does it better
Aron vs. Bob
As Sunday approaches every guy has 3 things on their mind; Beer, football and who to sit or start. This week a match-up of epic proportions rivaling that of George W.Bush vs. His mental capacity, Obama vs. The deficit, Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels ...Favre's Dick Pic Sixes (Me)-Nunes' Foreskin (Bob). I just want to go out on a side note and say that statistically it is better to be circumsized for social reasons as well as health.
http://data.unaids.org/pub/Report/2007/mc_recommendations_en.pdf
Nunes' Foreskin (6-1)
Bob is in first place by a game, but he lost only due to bye weeks of some very important players (Arian Foster ("The truth" bob calls him)Reggie Wayne and Calvin Johnson). He lost to a team that started a player who was on the bye week..enough said. Bob's team is the highest scoring in the league and sever weeks back posted 160 pts. Ive never seen anyone score that much in a league similar to this format..
From top to bottom Bob's team is solid.
Favre's Dick Pic Sixes (4-3)
Im two games back, tied for 3rd with 3 other chaps, but I have to say that I have had some bad luck when it comes to match-ups. Im second in the league in scoring..and for a while I was second in points scored against, I am now 5th. This game is very important for my team in trying to ensure a future playoff spot.
My team is a formidable opponent as well and capable of putting up numbers, but nothing in the 160pt range yet.
http://data.unaids.org/pub/Report/2007/mc_recommendations_en.pdf
Nunes' Foreskin (6-1)
Bob is in first place by a game, but he lost only due to bye weeks of some very important players (Arian Foster ("The truth" bob calls him)Reggie Wayne and Calvin Johnson). He lost to a team that started a player who was on the bye week..enough said. Bob's team is the highest scoring in the league and sever weeks back posted 160 pts. Ive never seen anyone score that much in a league similar to this format..
From top to bottom Bob's team is solid.
Favre's Dick Pic Sixes (4-3)
Im two games back, tied for 3rd with 3 other chaps, but I have to say that I have had some bad luck when it comes to match-ups. Im second in the league in scoring..and for a while I was second in points scored against, I am now 5th. This game is very important for my team in trying to ensure a future playoff spot.
My team is a formidable opponent as well and capable of putting up numbers, but nothing in the 160pt range yet.
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