Danny Woodhead entered the NFL in 2008 as an undrafted free agent. Later signed by the New York Jets, released and claimed by the New England Patriots..he has quickly became a fan favorite. So much so you cant find his jersey in a reasonable size or at a reasonable price (My surrounding area keep in mind, Taunton). I was able to find jerseys, replicas for 115$, and I was able to find 2XL authentics at a reasonable price. Funny thing is, weeks prior to the holiday season you could find his jersey in all sized at the normal price... Here is the reason why you can no longer:
He is a real trooper in this video. Posing as the impostor known as "Dan" he takes a fair verbal schlacking and borderline sexual assault. Poor guy has to try and talk himself up as a like-able guy, withstanding the insult of "being too little" In all fairness most guys have been called "too little" whether it be deserving or not. All said and done, I think Dan did a good job at describing receiving such insult, "salt on the wound" As a fellow retail salesman here are some things that Dan could have done better: No one cares if he is a likeable guy, for example..TO, Vick, Phillip Rivers all douche bags and they sell jerseys. Dan needs a better battle strategy like flirting with the females or relating to the guys. Tell the customer that you bought one for you mom, brother or someone close and how excited they were and how much they love it.
On a side note "He has to have it. Has to have Woodhead. Has to have Woodhead. No one else will do." To me that sounds more like a sexual fantasy that has to be taken care of. Ill be fucking pissed if Dan goes missing from the playoffs. And as i sit here i envision some guy sitting in his closet with shrine like the one Olga from "Hey Arnold" has of Arnold. Im not sure if its made of bubble gum or not (this guys shrine) but hes prolly wearing his jersey while holding the statue and watching woodhead college highlights or something. Ill stop there because there is no need to go further.
Lastly, I feel relieved that Bob and I are not the only ones who are afraid of buying a jersey in fear of the player being traded. The last 2 jerseys I have purchased are Richard Seymour and Boney-Maroney. Granted both were on the team for at least a season after i bought it..but its all the same. In hind sight, im not mad that Maroney got traded, I wasnt even a fan..I thought it was cool to own a jersey of a guy who was nicknamed the African Monster coming out of college.
Its been a while since I last wrote a blog, so first and foremost Happy New Year!!! And---Happy Birthday to me!!! Also, Congrats to my friend Hood-Rat for not getting arrested last night...Just remember that golden rule, Duck Fly Together
Only because no one else will sing to me. Whatever.
I spent last night in Boston... to say the least I'm glad I got all my bad decisions out last night and can start anew this year..perfect timing. Here is the recap of my night.
Arrive in Boston at 430-5ish and go visit my friends dad for a little bit. From there (Beth Israel Hospital) we decided it would not be a bad idea to walk to the hotel (poor life decision 1) which was on the other end of Tremont ST. The numbers started at 1900 and we walked to 247. What we have in the making here is a Canterbury Tale. Get to the hotel at about 615, I vastly under estimated that complexity and length of time it would take me to traverse the rugged terrain of Boston.
So I meet up with couple more friends to go meet another friend..Here I'm thinking we are gonna go hang out with this person (poor life decision 2), however that was not the case fore we simply walked about 3 miles or more simply to just say hello and I smiled and watched as they had 1 cigarette. Get back to the hotel at about 730ish.
View from the room--
Okay boring stuff is done and out of the way...I swear this gets better. Now, we are questioning whether or not the open bar will have enough liquor and beer to last the night, so we decide just to be safe to go find a liquor store. However, we were unaware the closest one was over a mile away (poor life decision 3--We are striking out at this point). Being the smart college degree adults we are we think we can simply walk into our hotel holding a brown paper bag, which is not the case (dumb decision 4). So we walk around the corner and are standing in a playground pouring our liquor into smaller bottles to smuggle in. At this point I feel like I'm in high school again.
Fast forward an hour or so, we arrive at the venue which was an old church converted into a ballroom or something. I wish I took a picture. However, I did take notes on my phone so I wouldnt forget anything. Walking in its your typical church and what not, the main room obviously had all the pews removed. There was a stage with a black cover band playing a lot of Michael Jackson. In my opinion there is not better way to start a party than with some Michael Jackson.
Here are my notes word for word, spelling mistakes included: Church, girl in tutu, black band playing michael jackson, pews, lots of jeans and suit jackets and girls w sequins, big screen on ceilling...walking forever to get booze and cant bring it in, walking 15 miles in 3 hours, putting alcohol in sprite (I guess this has nothing to do with the church and me being there, but it was so i didnt forget).
So Ive covered that we were in a church, drinking and such...seems like an oxymoron or something to be drinking and such in a church. So inside the ballroom area or w.e you want to call it there were stairs leading upto where the organ used to be, but along the sides surrounding the room there were still pews to sit and hang. I thought that was interesting.
So while I was upstairs creeping on the crowd i noticed a girl wearing a tutu like dress. Im wondering whether she just escaped the mental ward or she is way above the fashion curve. In all fairness, she was not far from looking like Jim Carey in the mental ward scene from Ace Ventura. Conversely there was not a whole lot of diversity amongst the male population in terms of attire. There was not a whole lot more going on other than Jeans-Suit jacket, or classic Jeans-Button down shirt. Im glad i broke from the crowd and wore a button down with a sweater over it. There were very few of us rocking that look.
Okay, touched on the band, but above the band was a projection of some screen, and it was an interesting idea to put the picture on the ceiling...who looks at the ceiling when youre trying to party..I suppose the only time you would stop and look would be if 1. youre bored or anti-social 2. nervous because you lack social skills 3. fell on your ass while on the dance floor.
So at some point in the night I met a female on the dance floor. One thing led to another and plain and simple I got cougar'd. Yep, it happened. I was seduced by a 32 (exact age I dont remember, but she was 30+) year old woman. Luckily for my Ducks Stick Together and it didnt go any further than kissing.
In summation: I walked 15 or so miles, got cougar'd, ate amazing chinese food, re-enacted The Canterbury tale with a real life excursion and Had a Great New Years/ Birthday Celebration.
To the friends we have, and the friends we will never forget.
DEUCES
As the NFL season is winding down and the playoffs picture is coming into focus, Fantasy Football playoffs are coming to an end. For many this realization is mind numbing as the reflect on the poor draft choices they made AHEM*D.WILLIAMS, MOSS, R.GRANT*AHEM But there is always next year and these sweet commercial to sway you into drafting certain players.
FYI, steer clear of Bulger and Maroney.
On the opposite spectrum exists those basking the glory as their teams advance to the final four.
FAVRES DICK PIC 6'S (me) VS. CROMARTIES 9TH KID (matty)
Last week, 9th kid barely escaped by the skin of his teeth as he beat Ian by less than 2 points. Ian was in perfect position to win, but we will blame Anquan Boldin for this. In a conversation with I had with Bob we came to the conclusion...
"HE (matty) WAS WHO IAN THOUGHT HE WAS...AND HE LET HIM OFF THE HOOK."
For me this is a game of revenge. Last year matt beat me in the championship in an epic showdown and his team was the clear favorite. But this year is different. Not only is his name unoriginal, but he sports a tom brady wearing a turban avatar. Im bitter about this and Jets fans can say all they want but fact of the matter is...youre team houses cheaters like your strength coach, under achieving players, and a fat glutinous coach.
I just puked in my mouth while trying to post this video.
anyways...here is the type of ass whooping im going to put on the 9th kid.
Straight up beastin the 9th kid and his ill equipped team.
NUNES FORESKIN (Talbot Talks) VS. JAY TOUCHY FEELY (eric)
Talbot talks is looking to regain his supremacy in the league and another shot at the title (wants to rematch me, still bitter that he lost to me) which is fine...but he better come prepared.. Idk if he is ready to deal with the athletic beasts that are on my team. Erics team is nothing special...hes getting lucky...as a matter of fact, I just checked his team and hes not even starting a TE right now.. Im not surprised.. Bob should win this match-up and have another shot at the title.
This is a pretty accurate conversation that Bob and I had about this..the actors couldnt have done it any better.
Remember the old days when the Hartford Whalers were a NHL team? There are several responses I would expect from this question.
A. No
B. Yes
C. I don't watch or follow hockey
D. I have no clue what you're talking about.
For those of you who don't know I'll provide some background then dive into the topic.
The Whalers were founded in 1971 and actually played in Boston (part of the WHL). Later they were moved to Hartford in 1974. They then joined the NHL in 1979. To keep this short and sweet, the whalers sucked. They had 3 winning seasons in 18 years, missed the playoffs 10 times and had only one playoff series win..Later earning them the nickname "Forever .500s"
The last game played by the Whalers was in 1997, where they were then moved to Carolina and became a good franchise.
"Brass Bonanza" Hartford Whalers Theme song. --Didnt know they had one
Im gonna pass the torch here to a friend...I actually took the time to interview someone for this blog...
1.) Why do you think people are now starting to wear Whalers apparel?
There are many things that come to mind when I read this questions. I first wonder why some people are certain fans of any teams. You have the rare fan in me who supports both the New York Mets and the San Francisco 49ers, and every time I am asked why, I responded with some means of humors as to defelct my shame for their own going lack of performance. What lets me sleep at night though is that fact that they are a sports team, and I will actually get to either see their games in person, watch them LIVE on TV, or catch highlights on ESPN. What “Whalers fan” (notice the quotes) can do any of that….NONE. The Whalers are a thing of the past, and like any relics of a poor decision their memories should be buried deep down. I understand if you were actually alive and went to Whalers games, but why would you waste your money and purchase new apparel. Is it to wear to the game, no what game could that possible be unless your watching NESN classic. The most obvious and depressing conclusion that any “Whalers fan” should come to is that whenever they see new team apparel they should think, WOW where were this groupies before the Whalers go kicked out of Connecticut. So I say congratulations to the people who buy new apparel, and in doing so mock the fact the team was forced to relocate due to a low fan base. If your looking for acceptance from a large majority you might as well buy a Justin beiber t-shirt and you’ll be welcomed with open arms with people who have similar problems of idolizing a joke.
2.) What do you have against those who wear Hartford Whalers hats and such?
Where are they going to wear this hat, certainly not at a game, so what is the point…To look like you know what’s good by supporting something that couldn’t even hold a fan base. Once again if you wear a new Whalers hat, ask yourself why and the list will be short I can guarantee that. Probably just as short as the list of accomplishments you’ve had in your life. I have an idea, why not take that money you are about to spend on a new Whalers hat, and instead just throw it into the Connecticut river or give it to a bum on Asylum Street near your precious XL Center where the only good thing that has been going on there is the UConn’s women domination and annihilation of unworthy opponents.
3.) Should these pseudo fans root for the Carolina Hurricanes? (The Whalers were relocated to Carolina for those who didnt know.)
These pseudo fans should do everyone a favor and stop laughing in the face of professional hockey. It’s a joke that more and more people who cannot even name a former Whaler or two wear these hats. I am surprised that “authentic Whalers fans” are not as disturbed as I am.
4.) I recently saw a poll reading
What is your favorite NHL team:
A. Bruins
B. Devils
C. Whalers
D. Rangers
E. Other
What are your thoughts about this poll?
This poll seems rather interesting, and I would be curious to how the students at UConn felt. Then upon a second glance I realized something about this pool. That aside from option E (which is where option C should be fall under) all the teams listed actually still exist (once again option C seems to be the outlier). The question is “What is your favorite NHL Team?” Wake up, the Whalers are not a NHL team. I feel no need to further drive this point home as the poll merely adds to my conclusion that CT is a state filled with pseudo fans looking for some form of acceptance.
5.) Fill in the blank. Every time I see someone wearing a Whalers hat, I want to .
Rub my eyes, take three deep breaths, and remind myself that there are those less fortunate and do not have all the synapses firing.
6.) Short paragraph where you can add in anything else you would like to say about Whalers fans.
Your support is about as worthless as Willy Wonka himself making being a keynote speaker at a diabetes convention. Just like the Whalers, Willy Wonka should be given credit for his great products, but honestly you don’t need to go out there and buy those 5 lb chocolate bars for the holidays. Its unreasonable and overkill, and the same can be said of all these “whaler fans” coming out of the wood work now.
Hat rack at Lids
I Agree with my friend here on every point that he made. However, Ill add in some more points.. Many of these people wearing these hats *coughLITTLEKIDScough* probably dont even know who or what the Whalers were. So its a cool hat to them thats fine I guess. But for those who are old enough and understand or like hockey..you need to move on and find a new team..You sporting a Whalers hat is like holding onto the picture of your Ex-gf from over 10 years ago. Its just not healthy!!! Perhaps you should sport a real team like the badass mamma-jammin BRUINS!!!!
Also, I just found this...I did a little research and came across this. Hartford Whalers Booster Club? Upon actually going to the site and doing a little eye exercise/ reading...I found there are 456 actual Whalers fans remaining..I think...thats what the site says..You poor souls.
