If twilight were a dude, he'd be a bitch.

Im sure this blog could have been written long ago, but it wasnt until recently that I actually caught glimpse of a scene that made me want to rip this shit out of this series. I can only imagine how many people I have pissed off just from that one opening sentence. Just so you know I have prepared for a 5 year war against the teenage females across the globe. I have a moat of campers surrounding my house...seriously I do. And Ive got two attack dogs!

There they are in red!!! (or green if you are color-blind.)


He's the nice one, old man is a grouch and crazy.

Down to business. Here are a list of reasons why I hate Twilight:
1. Its geared toward young teenage girls
2. Edward Cullen
3. The werewolf guy who dislike Ed
4. IT IGNORES ALL THE CONVENTIONAL VAMPIRE MYTHS AND SUCH!!
5. IT IGNORES ALL THE CONVENTIONAL WEREWOLF MYTHS AND SUCH!!

Vampires have very strict rules to their existence such as...drinking blood, no going out in day light, sensitive to garlic water, shape shifting, super powers and get owned by van hellsing. Its ridiculous that in the stupid movie twilight they can go out in daylight, but they sparkle!! What is this Fairyland!? Give me a fucking break. And then you have werewolf who can shape shift without the moon!!! Those arent werewolfs...they are animorphs!!! It would have been so much better if the books were left alone. At least with harry potter the movies are half decent...(half decent because i dont care for harry, nor have i seen much of the movies.) Point be made, vampires dont sparkle!!


Welll thats not a wolf clearly, but you get the idea.

Twilight takes away from such vampire classics such as: Interview with the Vampire, Queen of the Damned, Dracula, and I guess Ill throw underworld in there, but thats a reach.
In a fight between say Lestat (Interview with the vampire, Queen of the Damned) Ed.



Maybe the video wasnt clear, but here is what the people of youtube say:

• @finalsight You need to stop-i mean really hot tottally confused gorge rich Louis or a boy who a vampire because he sparkles
  PeachSweetxo 1 week ago
• Always Lestat. He's the best vampire. And he doesn't sparkle!
  princessaleera 2 weeks ago
• @MichaelMorbius4ever SOOO AGREE!!!! Twilight is for emo romantic goths, while IWTV is for bloodlusters, awsome people, freaks (like me!) gays (witch is a good thing!) and REAL vampires.... not this Pixie dust fairy sh*t...
  Thevampireprincess11 2 weeks ago
• Whiney-animal-eated vs. Price of Darkness human killer.... no compition... Lestat all the way! *Snuggles Lestat*
  Thevampireprincess11 2 weeks ago
• @finalsight LMFAO, this.
  KikyoChanXD 2 weeks ago
• Wh-wh-where is there even a competition!?
  KikyoChanXD 2 weeks ago
• LESTAT IS THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS EDWARD? Ajajaja just shines
  cieldelioncourt 3 weeks ago
• LESTAT!
  milMIKA 3 weeks ago
• lestat, damn right!!! he's the greatest, edward's a tard doucher
  kravenslove12 1 month ago
• Lestat is the best <3
  basic95ful 1 month ago
  
  
  
  
  
  
  "Lestat wins because he doesnt sparkle" perfect. 
  
  
  Here is a badass vampire if ive ever seen one, granted its a cartoon, but the point gets across. Alucard (Dracula). In the story, its said that Alucard was actually Vlad the impaler, the first vampire. I suppose you could pretend that the priest holding the girl captive is the bitch known as Ed. 
  
  
  In conclusion here is what twilight should be made into: 
  
  
  Top seller alltime- swear to god.!