Wednesday, January 19, 2011

My work out regiment for spring break. Featuring Kenny Powers.

Since the new year has come and past there has been a large influx of people attending the gym across the nation. Some of these are the post Christmas burning off the calories, some it's their New Years resolution, and other want the "Beach Body" in anticipation of going somewhere warm for spring break. But lets be honest, we all have these great aspirations go do healthy things in our lives and more often than not we lose motivation. Some have turned to p90x in hopes of becoming fit, only to have their self esteem, confidence and physical well-being destroyed by the man known as Tony Horton.

I on the other hand don't go to the gym because I increased my caloric uptake over break, or because it was my New Years resolution (Mine was to be more respectful of others and nicer to them), or because I am going on spring break down off the coast of Texas..I do it because I want to be fit and not end up like this guy and not be beaten by my wife when she comes home from work..

<== This is what i'm aiming for!
Damn i'm going to be jacked and a handsome dude. 
I have taken it upon myself to seek a world class athlete to serve as my own personal trainer, the same man who looked Jeremy Shockey in the eye and said, "How does it feel to fail?"


This is the kind of swagger and confidence that I need instilled within me to keep to my workout program. And you know what, Im so serious about this that i might go buy me some "tubes"..NO LIE. Kenny Powers told me that if I buy the tubes I will be able to work secret muscles that I never knew I had.

Well, I knew I had them because I majored in Pre-med my first 2 years of college and took an anatomy class, but try explaining to Kenny Powers that you know something that he thinks is a secret. Kenny Powers even defies the rules of gravity. All attributed to the "tubes". Maybe I dont even need Kenny Powers. Only need the tubes. Although, I wouldnt mind hanging out with Kenny Powers while wearing the tubes and working on my fitness.

I have just shown 4 videos. Four convincing videos of why I have chosen this guy to be my personal trainer. Reasons being: 1. Talks shit to Shockey, no easy task. 2. World jumping record. 3. More confidence and arrogance than the time Kanye went up on stage and embarrassed Taylor Swift. 4. One funny ass mother fucker.


Maybe those weren't the best reasons, but, "All the training in the world doesn't matter if youre doing it like an asshole." And there is some truth to that. In sports everyone says, "practice how you play." In a job setting or while doing chores, "Do it right, or dont do it at all." Normally with that second argument most would think "okay im not gonna do it at all" But we all know in a job setting we would get fired, or with chores pops would give you a swift kick in the ass or something. Both are equally unpleasant. But this next video will definitely get you pumped and ready to work out. Very inspirational.


So here is the plan. Monday, Wednesday, Friday on the first and third week of the month. Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday every second and fourth week of the month.  We're not gonna do any "school girl" shit. Straight pumping iron. Getting fit. Getting my swell on while im at the gym. Maybe a little cardio...not treadmill sissy stuff, sprints and quickness drills. Im not trying to run a marathon.
This here is a no no:


Here are the goals in mind: Nice to children (need to maintain the New Years resolution) mean to the weight room. Fast as a cheetah, hits like a pissed off rhino. Then cap it off with some sparring so I can defend myself in real life situations with not just words but my fists of fury.

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